Not going to work today?
Need a new excuse to feed the Boss?
Buffalo has collected a wide variety for you to test out!
~~
Click here to download Absence Note
I have always found it hard, no matter
how bad I felt to call into work
and take a day off. there have always been people I worked with that had
no qualms with calling in sick or coming up with a dire reason to take
the day off. One of my favorite excuses that I have heard was the man
who called in and said he was locked inside his house and couldn't get
out. He lived in a single story house with no screens on the windows and
a standard lock on the door.
Another favorite was the man who called in and said he was snowed in. He
lived a block from work and could have walked in 5 minutes in a
blizzard.
It is important to update your excuses though. This was demonstrated by
a man who called in with an extreme upset stomach one night, his
possible reasons were flu, food poisoning, or that he had ingested
anthrax. I would have loved being the person to receive that call just
to ask, " Do you normally chew your mail"?
When I first started work at the Flywheel Factory most of second shift
called in sick one afternoon and went to the city park for a picnic.
Little did they know that the first shift's supervisor camps every year
in the park's campground and they were caught in the middle of their
littlle lie?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I called in to work one day and told my
boss that i
had came down with "anal glucoma"
my eyes just didn't see my ass going to work that
day!!! HAHAH
Tammy B
~~~~~
This guy calls in and tells his boss,he can't come in today because he
is really sick.His boss tells him, this is the closing on that million
dollar contract and I really need you. The guy says,I'm sorry, but I am
really sick. His boss says, you don't sound sick..He says,,you think I'm
not sick,,well how sick is this,,I sleep with my father..
Terri S.
~~~~~~~
A few years back I used this one and got away with it. "My wife is
going to get pregnant at 2pm and I want to be there when it happens."
Sandy
~~~~~~
Thanks for all of your work, Buff.
I was manager for a small heating and cooling company. Our
receptionist, Donna, was very dependable, capable, hard working and
attractive. But she took off one or two days every month
for "female problems". She would use up sick days by May, personal
days by July, and lose salary for the rest of each year. The boss's
wife was very understanding. Until some of the single men leaked it
that her female problem was extreme horniness on the days before her
period!
Roger K
~~~~~~~
Best excuse for getting out of work...
"My wife is going to have a baby and I want to be
there when she gets pregnant."
Bruce
~~~~~~
Part of my job was to answer the 'call-in' phone at my workplace. A
couple of my favorites were:
1. "My wife is getting pregnant tonight and I want to be there!" and
2. "My husband can't come to work tonight. I don't know what they call
it, but he has the shitz bad!"
3. "I have been diagnosed with a STD, given to me by Ms. X in dept. 80,
and you'll probably be getting calls from Mr. A and Mr. B for the same
thing."
Terry P.
~~~~~~~~
hey boss; I think I have a touch of anal glaucoma today; I just can't
see my ass coming to work today.
Ken and Melanie
~~~~~~~
We had a guy at work named Gary. This guy would call in with some
beauties for not coming to work. I had written down 11 of them at one
time but lost the list so I'll try to remember a few of them. I swear
to god these are what he said.
He called and said his wife wanted to have anal sex all day so he would
not be in.
He had to walk his dog so he was taking the day off.
He was so short of money he had to take the day off (unpaid) to figure
out how to get out of the situation.
Mike B
~~~~~~
This worked every time...and I was an upper level manager!!
Hyponoia...(look it up)
JR
~~~~~~~
I used this excuse one time and it is true. I called in sick because I
"lost" the string on my tampon and had to go to the GYN to get
"unplugged".
Mechelle
~~~~~~
MY WIFE IS GOING TO GET PREGNANT AND I WANT TO BE THERE FOR THAT.
DOUG
~~~~~~~
When i worked for WESTERN UNION back
in the 70's a fellow co-worker would use the
same excuse time after time when he wanted
a week end off...it was quote: his grandmother
died, i can't tell you how many time his grand-
mother died! many times....and he would get
the time off some how he got away with it..
regards
george whisenant cape coral fl
~~~~~~
Buffalo,
I spent 21 years in the Army and would hear all kinds of excuses for
being late or needing the day off. I used to tell my men, "If you can
come up with one I haven't already heard, you can take the day off."
One day a young private reported to me before the "o" dark thirty
formation and stated that he really had to have the day off because his
wife was going to have a baby. I stated to him that I didn't know his
wife was pregnant and he said, "She's not, but she will be if I can get
the day off." I wished him good luck as he ran to his car.
Reggie Wolfe
~~~~~~~
i called in sick once with terminal vd
Maverick
~~~~~~~
I was working on a job twelve hundeerd fifty miles from home.I had been
gone away from home about three months.I received a letter from my wife
that said she was going to get pregnant on a certain day and if i wanted
to get some of the action i need to come home.I not only called in sick
i called in and quit my job.
A proud father.
~~~~~~
My wife's plannin' on getting pregnant and I want to be there when it
happens. Ken Up.
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